


The Truth Takes Time

by Psistriker



Series: Chronoverse [3]
Category: Avengers, MCU, Marvel Comics, X-Men
Genre: Angst, Gen, Nightmares, mental trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-28 19:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10837863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psistriker/pseuds/Psistriker
Summary: Clint thought he was over Loki's manipulations until he gets his hands of SHIELD's final report.  Everyone tells him it wasn't his fault, but maybe a different perspective will finally make him believe it.





	The Truth Takes Time

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by one of those writer prompts memes on Tumblr. Cakeisnotpie suggested the emotion horrified and this is what I came up with.

Clint bolted awake, his heart pounding in his chest. Terror gripped him, causing him to forget where he was. He stared blindly, panicking until his dog whined.

Lucky jumped into the bed, pushing his head against Clint’s arm.

Clint wrapped his arms around Lucky, holding him tightly. He buried his face in the dog’s fur while his whole body shook. He hadn’t had one of these episodes in a while and he’d almost forgotten how to cope.

Eventually it passed, his breathing returning to normal and his heart rate finally slowing down. Only the fine sheen of sweat over his bare torso gave any outward sign of his inner turmoil. He threw on a pair of sweats, a threadbare T-shirt, and a pair of beat up Converse before grabbing Lucky’s leash. “C’mon, boy, let’s get out of here.”

Lucky barked once in agreement as he followed his human out.

They went for a long walk, Clint hoping to tire himself out. Instead he was still restless and agitated so he headed up to the roof.

He shouldn’t have been surprised to see her there. He’d helped her move into the top floor apartment in his building for a reason after all. He tried to sneak off before she noticed him, but Lucky ruined that by barking at her.

Chronos had been sitting on the edge, her legs dangling over the side. Lucky continued barking until she finally turned completely around.

“Lucky, I promise, I’m not gonna fall,” she said. “I can fly, remember? He’s the one that can’t.”

Lucky went over to her, placing his chin on her knee so she couldn’t move.

“You need to stop falling off of high things, Birdman. You’re dog is starting to develop a complex,” Chronos said. “And you look like hell.”

Clint leaned against the door that led back inside. “Couldn’t sleep,” he muttered.

“That’s a first,” Chronos replied. “I told you drinking straight from the coffee pot was gonna come back to bite you in the ass.”

“It wasn’t the caffeine,” Clint sighed. “I had a nightmare, alright? I couldn’t shake it so I took Lucky out for some air.”

Chronos started scratching Lucky thoughtfully. “I don’t actually remember my nightmares,” she said. “Kinda funny when you think about it. Eidetic memory and that’s one of the few things I don’t remember. Probably for the best though. Can you imagine the kind of weird ass stuff that would freak me out?”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Chronos,” Clint said.

“Okay.” Chronos continued to stare at him while petting Lucky.

Clint groaned. “It was Loki, okay? I dreamt about Loki, that I was back under his control.”

“I thought you weren’t having those dreams anymore,” Chronos said.

“I wasn’t, I just…” Clint dragged a hand down his face. “I finally got to see the final report on the whole thing. I knew what I did, but I had no idea how bad it was. All those people at the lab and then the Hellicarrier. I was all my fault and I …”

He wrapped his arms around himself as started shaking again. It all came back to him - the loss of control, being forced to turn against his friends and colleagues, the death and destruction he’d caused. The horror of it all came rushing back. He closed his eyes, trying to fight it off and losing.

“Two arrows.”

Clint’s eyes snapped open. “What?”

Chronos was watching him from under the brim of her hat, her face unreadable. “You took the Hellicarrier down with two arrows,” she repeated. “I’ve seen the reports too, Clint. From what Natasha said, I figure Loki was using you for a distraction so he could get to Big Green. You caused just enough chaos to give him that, no more and no less.”

Clint glared at her. “There better be a point to this, Timex.”

“My point, dumbass, is think how much worse it could have been,” Chronos continued. “Most people would have gone for mass destruction - taken out the engines or gone for the command room. You did the minimum amount to keep everybody busy. Fury even said that the casualty list was lower than expected BECAUSE of you.”

Clint shook his head, not wanting to believe her words. “But I shot him, Maria. I even tied to kill Tasha.”

“Oh please,” Chronos snorted. “If you wanted Fury dead you would have gone for a head shot, not in the chest where you knew he was wearing body armor. Hill? I’ve seen the footage from the lab. The World’s Greatest Marksman suddenly can’t hit the broadside of a barn? If that’s not you trying to fight back I don’t know what is.

“And Natasha? Moscow can kick your butt in a heart beat and you know it. She fought you the way she did because she thought you could be saved. If she honestly thought you were a lost cause, she would have put a bullet between your eyes and ended it in two seconds.”

Clint leaned his head back against the door. “You know, I almost think I liked you better before you started therapy.”

“That’s ‘cause you know I’m right,” Chronos shot back. “Clint, what you went through? That’s pretty much my worst nightmare. I fight to keep control of myself every day and to have that control forcibly taken away? I honestly don’t know how you do it. The fact that you went through all that and came out the other side relatively sane blows me away. You need to work on forgiving yourself though.”

“You know, most people just tell me that this wasn’t my fault,” Clint pointed out.

“Yeah, and you never listen to them,” Chronos replied. “You tell me we’re alike, that you see a lot of you in me. Thing is, we’ve both seen and done some pretty horrible things, lost control of ourselves. So if we’re alike, that either makes us both victims of circumstances we didn’t ask for and can’t control, or it makes us both monsters. And you’re the one who always says I’m not a monster. So which one is it really, Birdman?”

Clint shot her another dirty look. “You fight dirty.”

Chronos grinned at him. “Damn right I do,” she laughed.

Clint took a deep breath, finally lowering his arms. “Thanks, Timex,” he said. “What I did, what he made me do, I don’t know if I’ll ever really be over that. You do make a lot of sense though, in your own weird little way.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” Chronos replied. “Now go get some sleep ‘cause you really do look terrible.”

Clint just stuck his tongue out at her before he and Lucky went back inside.


End file.
